


The Good Things in Life, When Short, Are Twice as Good

by coldfiredragon



Category: DCU, DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child Abuse, Court of Owls, Dick as a Talon, F/M, Implied Torture, Talon!Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 11:43:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldfiredragon/pseuds/coldfiredragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: In a world where Dick's mother died in Gotham but his father survived Dick never became the first Robin, he became a Court of Owls Talon instead, now he's owner of Haly's Circus, has a family of his own, and the Court has decided it's time to select a new child to continue the Talon legacy .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own DC comics or any of the canon characters featured in this fic. 
> 
> I want to thank the beta I had for this piece! They were absolutely fantastic and so helpful! This piece wouldn't be what it became without their help! Thank you so much!!!! This was originally posted on my LJ and DW accounts. If you would like to read more of my work it can be found there.

Dick parked his bike at the end of the line of Haly’s Circus trucks and swung his leg over the side and down to the ground. Business for the Court had kept him away from his show the night before so he had missed the roll in and initial setup; from across the street it looked like his crew had gotten a good start. The massive red tent was already set up and Dick watched as the food and game vendors moved their trucks to create a fairway that would usher the show's patron s towards the tent's primary entrance.

He hung his helmet on the handlebars of his bike and walked to the sidewalk. When there was a lull in the seemingly endless Gotham traffic he jogged across the street and hopped over the fence into the temporary lot.

“Hey! You can't do that!” Dick smirked and waved at the security guard who had caught him.

“It’s me, Sam,” he called back.

“Dick!” The pair shook hands, one of Sam's massive ones thumped against his back before Sam finally let him go. “Bryan has been looking for you. He's got a whole mess of permits for you to sign.” Dick groaned softly.

“I thought I had taken care of all of those already.”

“Apparently not, Bryan's somewhere in the big top I think. He and Jimmy have been trying to figure out a way to change Jimmy’s costume.”

“Why... Oh. Yeah, we’re going to have to do something about that for a show here.” Jimmy's green wig absolutely had to go before curtain went up. “I think there’s a wig shop downtown,” Dick murmured mostly to himself. He waved to Sam as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number for directory assistance. By the time he had reached the entrance to the main tent he had ordered a blue replacement wig for Jimmy.

Dick paused in the mouth of the tent and took a breath, letting the mix of circus sounds and smells wash over him. He wished he wasn't tied so heavily to Gotham so he could travel with the show more but that was just impossible. Being a Talon was an eternal collar around his neck, it would always tie him to Gotham, and he would never escape it, though the Court had given him a bit of a leash. When he’d turned twenty-one the Court had ordered him to return to Haly's to take over the ownership of the show from Pop. It had taken time but he was thankful he had finally hammered things out with Bryan, the best circus manager he could ask for. They had run the show together for over seven years now.

“I'm not wearing it, Bryan!” The moment of quiet enjoyment was ruined by Jimmy's disgruntled barking, and Dick walked between the rows of bleachers towards the center of the tent.

“You don't have to, Jimmy,” he called as he came into view.

“Dick!” Both Bryan and Jimmy said his name as they turned to face him. Dick stopped in front of the pair.

“There's a wig shop downtown, Jimmy, I already called them to order a replacement. I hope you don't mind blue. We'll talk to Angela in wardrobe about altering your make-up and shirt for the night. That purple needs to go.”

“Thanks, Dick.”

“Gotham's not an easy city to play a clown in. I understand.” He and Bryan had argued the pros and cons of cutting the clowns from the show for the night. Dick had wanted to bench them, but Bryan had disagreed and truthfully, he was right. The circus lost part of its charm if the clowns weren’t included, and the clowns helped the show flow better by entertaining the audience as one feature act transitioned to the next. The first show in Gotham was Haly's gala night and this year was a selection show for the Court. Haly's was going to put her best foot forward, clowns and all.

“I thought you would be here last night. I've got a dozen things for you to sign. They made us take out an additional insurance policy, and we had to hire on more security because people in this town are just so damn nosy.”

“I ran into Sam when I hopped the fence,” Dick admitted. He grinned a little when Bryan rolled his eyes.

“Why couldn't ya just walk through the front gate like the rest of us?”

“Where's the fun in that?”

“You're hopeless, Grayson. You really are.” The older man rolled his eyes as Dick smirked at him.

“Let's get the paperwork out of the way. Someone is going to distract one or both of us if we wait too long and I would rather everything be settled so we can focus on the rehearsal.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Bryan fell in step with him as they walked towards the performer's entrance. Their idle conversation was constantly interrupted as the performers and crew realized Dick was back, but the need to get the paperwork done prevented Dick from talking to anyone for long.

The sunlight was bright and warm as he and Bryan stepped out of the tent and onto the circus back-lot. The yard was buzzing with activity, and it was harder to walk towards the administration trailer when everyone wanted to say hello. The ancient red and yellow trailer was within sight when Dick’s attention was drawn away by someone he absolutely could not ignore.

“Daddy! Hey, dad!” Dick whipped towards the direction of the little voice and a rare grin spread across his face as he watched Johnny bounce towards the edge of the trampoline he and several of the other children were playing on. They should have been practicing, but Dick could tell from the indulgent smiles of the parents watching them that the kids had been playing.

His six-year-old son dropped off the edge of the high trampoline easily and Dick swept the child off his feet as the boy ran to him.

“Where's your mom, buddy?” Dick asked. He hadn't seen Raya since he had flown to join Haly's for their week of shows in Chicago earlier in the season.

“Mama’s helping Zara finish our new costumes.”

“What colors did your mom pick?”

“Green and yellow, lots of shiny green, but with a huge yellow ‘G’ across the chest.” Johnny held his hands up to give Dick some idea of the letter’s size. Dick smirked and nodded. Those colors would really catch the eye and contrasted with Raya's bright red hair. He settled Johnny up on his shoulder as he walked back towards Bryan.

“Have you been practicing your quad with Marc?”

“Mmmhmm! Dad? Do I really get to do it in the show tomorrow? I've been practicing it forever!” Dick laughed at Johnny's enthusiasm.

“Three months is not forever, little guy.” He squeezed his little boy's hand. “And yeah, you do. I can't wait to watch you. I know you’re going to nail it. You and your mom are going to steal the show.” Johnny squirmed excitedly on his shoulder, and Dick was content to keep him there until the boy’s tennis shoe started to bounce against his breast. At that point Dick lifted him down, kissed his son’s cheek, and then dropped him to his feet. “Go find your mom for me. Tell her I'm helping Bryan finish up some things in the administration trailer.”

“Okay! Bye daddy.” Dick watched his son scamper through the crowds and tried to ignore the heavy feeling in his stomach. Tomorrow was the first selection the Court of Owls had ordered since he and Bryan had taken over as owner and manager and neither of them were looking forward to writing a name down in that book.

“Are you worried about him?” Bryan's voice broke through his thoughts.

“It’s out of my hands.”

“He's just a kid.”

“So was I,” Dick pointed out quietly. “Come on, before Raya and Johnny show up and drag me away. I haven't seen my wife and kid in weeks.”

“I don't know how you do it, Dick.” Bryan ran his fingers over a swirl of chipping yellow paint as they walked up the metal steps to the trailer door.

“It’s not like I was ever given a choice.” Dick unlocked the door and stepped into the cool, cramped office. Every inch of wall space was filled with old circus posters or framed newspaper clippings. Dick studied a poster of his parents while Bryan got the papers then Dick pulled one of the broken-down armchairs closer to Bryan's desk and sank into it. Once Bryan laid the stack in front of him he started to leaf through them. Too quickly, the clamor of small feet on the metal stairs interrupted them and Johnny pushed the door open without knocking.

“Johnny William Grayson! You are supposed to knock first.” Raya's voice was more amused than reprimanding.

“He's fine, Raya!” Bryan called. He leaned across his desk to ruffle Johnny's hair as Raya followed her son up the steps and stood in the door.

Dick twisted in his chair to look at her and a warm smile spread across his face. She was glowing, or she seemed to be as the sunlight peeked around her lean frame. The soft, sage green, viscose sundress she wore hugged her body. He stood to welcome her and wrapped his arms around her when she stepped into his hold. The kiss they shared was hungry and needy from too much time apart.

“Come on you two, let’s finish this up. Dick, just sign the rest of these, then I'll take Johnny for a couple hours so you and Raya can have some time before rehearsal.”

“I'm coming.” Dick slipped his hand into his wife's then pulled her into his lap once he was seated again. Johnny was fast to climb up with them, and boy tucked himself against Dick's chest. When the child was settled Dick brushed the boy's soft hair back from his forehead so he could kiss the bare skin. He waved the arm that wasn't pinned by his wife and son at Bryan and the older man fit the papers onto a clipboard then handed them to Raya. Dick scanned through and initialed each page as Raya turned them for him. He rested his cheek against Johnny's hair as Raya passed the board back.

“I think I'm going to just leave the three of you right there for now.” Bryan commented as he stood.

“If you need him, come and get him, Bryan,” Raya told him.

“I'm going to have to go pick up Jimmy's wig when they call and say it’s ready,” Dick commented.

“Just have somebody else do it. All the trucks have GPS now.”

“Good point,” Dick agreed. Johnny squirmed sleepily in his lap and Dick petted the boy's hair gently. “Somebody needs a nap, I think.”

“He's been excited about doing that quad tomorrow night,” Raya informed him. They heard the trailer door close and lock. “The whole show is buzzing. I haven't seen everybody so excited in a while.”

“It’s Gotham. We get a ton of donations whenever we play here and everybody knows it.” Money was the best way he and Bryan had found to mask the real reason for Gotham's importance. Dick’s eyes momentarily strayed to the map pinned to the cork board behind Bryan’s desk. Push pins of varying colors marked each city Haly’s Circus played and there was a big black pin through Gotham, it was the only black pin on the map.

“True enough.” Raya looked at the boy tucked between them. “Look at him,” she cooed.

“I know, the little guy fell asleep fast.” Dick had noted his son's breathing evening out as they had talked. He pushed the thin strap of Raya’s sundress aside and kissed his wife’s bare shoulder until she tilted her head so her mouth would meet his. “We should go to dinner after rehearsal tonight. Just us.”

“Will you have time?”

“I'll make time.”

“That would be nice. Formal or casual?”

“I would love to show you off,” Dick admitted. He smiled a little as Raya slapped his shoulder.

“Don't you dare pretend I'm some trophy wife!” He caught her fingers and kissed them.

“Never, not ever. You're the brightest part of my world.”

“I don't have anything to wear. I suppose I could go by the house and pick up Jimmy's wig on the way back.”

“There's that black chiffon dress that you had planned to wear for New Year's.” Raya's eyes lit up, she loved that dress but their plan for that evening had been derailed when Johnny had caught the flu. “And you stopping for the wig would save me from sending someone who doesn't know Gotham. Just make sure you use the show's business card to pay for it.”

“All right,” Raya rested her cheek on his shoulder and combed her fingers through Johnny's soft black hair. “He misses you, Dick.”

“I miss him too, and you. The season's almost over, then you two will be home and we'll be together for a few months.”

“I wish you toured with us.”

“Raya...”

“I know.” She kissed his mouth to silence him. “I know you can't. I know. It’s okay. I know you would love to.” She shifted in his lap to wrap her arm around his neck then tugged his forehead to rest against hers. “It’s okay.” Her hand cupped his cheek. “Let's not worry about impossible things.”

“Thank you.” Dick gave his wife a weak smile as they relaxed together in the chair and let Johnny sleep until Dick got the call that Jimmy's wig was ready.

Raya took his wallet and Dick didn't see her again until an hour before the rehearsal was about to start. He handed Johnny off to her so she could get their boy ready and went to find Bryan in the big top. The older man was sitting in the section of seating that would be set aside for members and families of the Court and Dick shivered as he slipped under the rope.

“So we’re going to watch from here tonight huh?” Dick took the seat beside Bryan and looked around the tent. Even though Dick trusted the crew to set everything up he had still spent the afternoon up in the rigging to make sure everything was wired and anchored correctly. The young man swallowed down the butterflies that erupted in his stomach as Bryan nodded. His friend passed him a headset and Dick fiddled with it until he was satisfied.

“It’s the best block of seating in the house.” Bryan braced his foot against the seat in front of him and stretched. “I don't want to make big tweaks this close to our biggest show of the year but if you see anything that has to change lemme know.”

“I trust you, Bryan. You work with these people every day! You know what they are capable of better than I ever could. The last thing I want is for someone to get hurt because we mix things up at the last minute.”

“Right,” Bryan elbowed him. “So you’re taking Raya to dinner tonight? I heard you were looking for somebody to watch your boy. He can sleep on my couch till you two get back if you didn't find someone.”

“Hamish is going to order pizza for his twins and Johnny is going to have a sleepover with Amal and Amita.”

“And you and Raya will have the trailer all to yourselves when you get back.” Bryan finished with a grin. “Can't blame you for wanting that.” The two of them laughed and Dick leaned back in his chair. “Are we ready to start?”

“Sure,” Dick agreed. They spent the next four hours debating the small details of the show they would be putting on the following night. In the end, the only changes they ended up making were small ones to the acts with the clowns. The Joker seemed to get more bold each year and some of the routines were pushing at lines Dick didn’t want to cross.

Raya and Johnny took Dick's breath away. He had known they would but watching Johnny launch himself into the first of two quads in his routine made his breath catch in his throat. He could see the grin on his son's face as Marc caught him.

“He's something else, Dick,” Bryan murmured. “He's as good as you were at that age.”

“Better,” Dick whispered. “He's better.” Bryan squeezed his thigh and the pair of them watched as Johnny and Raya climbed down from the rigging. Johnny did a line of cartwheels and hand springs as he and his mother headed for the center ring where Marc joined them and scooped Johnny up so he could stand on his hands. The boy’s grin was huge and he waved as Marc slowly turned so Johnny could face all sides of the tent. Once the man put him down Johnny darted out of the ring and up the steps of the bleachers to join Dick and Bryan. Dick spent the remainder of the rehearsal with his son in his lap. The last act was on their way out of the tent when Raya walked over and leaned against the fence that separated the seating area from the ring, she had a change of clothes for Johnny tucked under her arm.

“Are you done with him, Bryan?”

“Yeah, you two can go. The rest of us can hold our own for the evening. Just make sure he’s here again in the morning.”

“We are coming back tonight,” Dick promised him.

“Where are you going, daddy?” Johnny squirmed around in Dick’s lap to face him, and looked between his parents in confusion.

“Just to dinner, buddy.”

“But, dad...” The boy’s lip trembled miserably.

“Don’t cry, Johnny, come on now.” Dick brushed his thumb across the child’s cheek gently. “Your mom and I didn’t forget about you, Hamish is ordering pizza for you and the twins. Wouldn’t you rather stay here and play with them?” The boy’s watery eyes made Dick consider throwing in the towel, he was only going to get to see Johnny for the weeks the show was going to be in Gotham and he didn’t want to have his son in tears.

“Let’s just take him with us,” Raya suggested. She had come up to join them when Johnny had started to pout and she reached to stroke his hair soothingly. “I brought him a suit just in case. He looks so cute when he’s all dressed up.”

“Mama, no! No suits!” Johnny caught her wrist and looked at her pleadingly.

“But your daddy and I are going to a nice dinner. You’ll have to wear a suit, and you’ll have to be quiet like a little mouse.” Johnny frowned at her, he knew how he had to behave at a nice dinner and he hated having to dress up.

“The twins are getting pizza?” He asked after a moment. “Can we get funnel cakes too?”

“That’s up to Hamish, sweetheart,” Raya told him. “He might not want the twins to have that much sugar.”

“We can ask though.” Dick promised him. The boy finally nodded and Dick shifted his hold on the child so he could stand. He lifted Johnny up onto his shoulder and held the hand that wasn’t holding Johnny in place out to his wife. Her strong fingers slipped into his and he squeezed them as they walked down the steps and out of the tent.

Hamish’s small family of Indian gymnasts had managed to park their trailer near the entrance of the tent so the walk to find them was a short one. Amita and Amal were playing outside and Amita rolled off her brother and bounced over to them to them as they approached.

“Uncle Dick! I lost my first tooth!” The little girl grinned up at him excitedly and the gap between her remaining teeth was rather adorable.

“Congratulations, Amita.” Dick lifted Johnny down and smirked as the boy’s hand twisted into the loose fabric of his jeans, Dick petted his hair as Johnny tucked tight against his leg. “Why are you being so clingy, buddy?”

“I don’t want you to go!”

“You don’t want to spend the night with us?” Amita looked hurt and Johnny bit his lip, which made Dick gently tap him on the top of his head to get him to stop.

“Papa ordered pizza already!” Amal told him as he bounced over to join his sister. “You’re going to stay right?” Johnny looked indecisive and the twins shared a glance.

“Please?” Dick couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter that built in his chest as the twins drew out the word in unison. He saw Johnny smile a little and Dick felt the death-grip on his pants loosen.

“You don’t have to stay, kiddo, but I think you will have more fun here than with your mom and I.”

“Yeah, adult dinners are always boring!” Amina proclaimed.

“I guess,” Johnny let go of his pants and Dick pressed his hand against his son’s back and gently propelled the small boy towards his age-mate.

“I think you’ll have fun, Johnny,” he encouraged gently.

“You’re going to be here in the morning right?” Dick dropped down to his knees and held his arms open to his son.

“Of course I’m going to be here in the morning.”

“Promise?” Johnny’s slim arms wrapped around his waist and squeezed.

“I’m going to be here as much as I can the whole time the show is in Gotham, I just want a night to do something special with your mama. Is that okay?” The boy’s face buried against his chest and Dick was sure he was going to say no.

“You have to make pancakes for me and the twins in the morning.”

“Okay,” Dick agreed immediately, he wondered who had taught Johnny to blackmail him like that.

“Thank you, daddy,” Johnny finally let him go and moved to get a hug from his mother. When he let her go Amita was waiting to drag him towards the trailer, just as Hamish and his wife Nandita came around the line of trailers with a pile of pizzas. The sets of parents waved to one another, then spoke long enough to make sure it was okay for the kids to get funnel cakes. Raya had just enough time to hand Johnny’s clothes off to Nandita before Dick slipped his hand into her’s and gave it a tug. It was clear he wanted to get going before Johnny changed his mind.

The two of them walked back to the trailer and Dick locked the door once they were inside and followed Raya to the bathroom.

“We’re sharing a shower, I guess?” Raya asked as he stepped in with her.

“It saves time and hot water,” he murmured as he swept her wet hair to the side and lightly kissed her neck. The woman in his arms moaned softly and Dick pressed tighter against her. “God you’re so beautiful.” A hint of exhausted sadness colored his words; it was so hard for him to remember that he had anything bright in his life when she and Johnny traveled during the year.

“Dick…” Raya turned in his hold and Dick claimed her mouth to keep her quiet.

“Don’t worry about me,” he murmured as the kiss broke.

“I do, though.” The concern in her soft voice made his eyes burn, enough that Dick was forced to close them and turn his face into the spray. Raya raised her hand and, after a moment of hesitation, gently cupped his cheek. “Whenever I call you always sound…” She struggled for a moment to find the right description. “…so cold, or exhausted, I don’t know. I wish you could share more with me but I know they won’t let you.” She leaned up to kiss him gently and the hand that wasn’t cupped around his cheek brushed over an old scar on his side, it made him shiver despite the warm water cascading over them.

“I’m sorry, Ray.”

“Don’t do that to me.” Dick opened his eyes to look at her in confusion.

“Don’t do what?”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize to me.” Her thumb brushed under his lip then she leaned up to kiss him. “You never have to apologize to me.”

“That’s not true!” Dick said immediately.

“You never have to apologize for making me worry about you,” she amended. “I love you, Dick! I’m going to worry about you.” Her finger poked against his chest. “You made the mistake of marrying me Mister. Worry is just part of the package.” Her light tone coaxed a small smile from him and his arms tightened around her again as he dipped his head to kiss her.

“Marrying you was no mistake,” he promised as he pressed her against the shower wall. The spray drummed on his back and he combed his fingers through the wet locks of her hair. “I’m so lucky you said yes to me, that you still cared about me even after all the years I was gone.”

“There’s just something irresistible about you I guess.” Her arms looped loosely around his neck and Dick felt her fingers tangling in the wet strands of his hair.

“We could just stay in tonight and go out another night, the show’s in town for two weeks.” Dick murmured as he leaned in to catch the lobe of her ear between his teeth. The little gasp that escaped her sent chills through him and he felt her hands tighten in his hair.

“Cool it, Flyboy,” Raya’s breath hitched in her throat as he continued to tease her neck and she untangled her fingers from his hair to push gently at his chest. “Johnny barely let you out of his sight tonight, Dick; no way will he let us leave him again. Everything’s arranged already, let’s just go.”

“You’re far too reasonable.” Dick pouted as he reached to pick up her bottle of shampoo from the shelf. He handed it to her then let her slide around him so she was under the spray before he picked up her body-wash and poured a small puddle into his hand

“One of us has to be,” she commented as she started to rub shampoo through her hair. She shivered as his slick soap covered hands slid down her arms and over her shoulders. “So where are we going for dinner? Did you make reservations already?”

“I know the owner. You’ll love it, and I want to surprise you.” Dick added more soap to his hands and slid to his knees to run his hands over her legs. Raya practically purred at the attention and Dick leaned in to nip the inside of her knee, she jumped a little then laughed, and Dick licked at the bite. The soap film left a sore taste in his mouth but there was nothing that could kill him so he hardly cared.

“I’m not changing my mind,” Raya murmured stubbornly as she started to wash the soap out of her hair.

“I know, I know, spoil sport.” Dick finished rubbing down her legs before he rinsed his hands, when Raya stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself it gave him room to stand and wash his own hair. A current of cool air filtered into the bathroom as she opened the door and Dick heard the sound of her blow-dryer from the bedroom as he finished up.

A garment bag holding one of his tailored suits had been draped over the back of the couch when he stepped out of the bathroom and he frowned at the closed bedroom door as he toweled his hair dry. There was no use trying to blow-dry it, the unruly black locks would fall however they decided they wanted to fall. He started to dress and was finishing just as Raya came out of the bedroom.

“What do you think?” Dick looked up when Raya prompted him to and he inhaled sharply through his nose at the sight of her. The floor length dress he had suggested dipped into low ‘V’s in both the front and the back and there was a textured belt that was taller than his hands across her narrow waist. She had pulled her hair into a simple twist at the base of her neck and accented the dress with some silver hoops and a bracelet. A small black clutch finished the ensemble.

“You’re stunning.” Dick told her as he shoved his wallet and phone into his pockets. “Are you ready?” She nodded as she stepped into his space to kiss him. Dick held in the soft laugh that built in his throat, at the rate they were going they were going they were never going to make it out of the trailer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own DC Comics or any of the canon characters featured in this fic. I won't make any money using them so just enjoy the fic for the sake of enjoyment.

Dick was beyond glad that he took Raya to dinner that night because he barely saw her the next day. Every time he felt like he might have a few minutes to spend with her something else came up. The morning was eaten up by a second rehearsal then the afternoon became a chaotic sprint towards the evening show. A lull finally seemed to fall over the back-lot a couple of hours before they would start letting the first guests through the front gates.

There was an unexpected quiet as families with little ones retreated to their trailers to try to get their kids to rest before show-time. The animal pens became the one remaining hub of frenzied activity as groomers and trainers finished scrubbing down the elephants and brushing the horses. Dick drifted towards that area to see what he could do to help as everyone else settled into their quiet pre-show routines. The black coats of Farid's high stepping Arabian horses gleamed and Dick stopped to pet Lalima's nose as she trotted up to the fence of horse enclosure.

“Hey, Dick! Give us a hand, would you?” Dick jogged over to the elephant enclosure and easily caught the long handled scrub brush he was tossed. By the time the elephants were ready his clothes were soaked through and he trudged back to the trailer to shower and change. The Grayson family trailer was one of the biggest on the lot and Raya had painted the outside a merry blue. His wife was pulling a box of pasta down from the cabinet as he stepped into the two bedroom unit, and a pan of her fresh tomato sauce was simmering on the stove.

“You’re soaking wet and you smell like elephant.” Raya’s hand pressed against his chest as he stepped close to kiss her. “Shower, now,” she ordered as she stepped away to pull down some spices. The small jars were set up in a line on the narrow strip of counter by the stove before she walked to the fridge to take out a handful of apples.

“I'm going to get in the shower. I was hoping you would join me.”

“I already took mine.” She flipped the end of her ponytail to show him the damp ends.

“Damn.”

“Go shower, then get Johnny up and eat with us.”

“Okay.” Dick really didn't feel like eating because his stomach was a tight ball of nerves, but if he didn't eat Johnny probably wouldn't either, by the time he finished showering and getting dressed the smell of Raya's cooking had already coaxed their son from bed. The boy was seated on his feet at the tiny kitchen table with a half-eaten bowl of fresh apple slices and a small cup of caramel on the table in front of him. Dick dropped into the seat across from Johnny and took one of the slices, which encouraged Johnny to eat another piece. The kid was at the stage where he wanted to copy everything his parents did. Dick looked at Raya and shared a smile with her over their little boy’s head. She had her own bowl of fruit on the counter beside her, and had obviously been using the same trick.

To Dick, the meal the three of them shared as a family was even better than the one he and Raya had shared the night before. He enjoyed listening to Johnny chatter excitedly about the show and the feeling of Raya's foot as she playfully brushed it against his leg. His phone vibrated off the counter as he and Raya were getting Johnny into his costume.

“Bryan,” Raya told him as she retrieved it from the floor, rather than pass it to him, she answered for him. “He's getting Johnny ready, Bryan. Give him five minutes.” Dick held up all his fingers. “He says ten, Bryan.” She laughed. “No, we are not fooling around! Ten minutes, front gate, yes he heard me.” She hung up. “Ten minutes by the front gate. He's going to have cashiers on the gate start taking tickets and letting people in.”

“That's fine.” Dick settled on his knees and tugged the straps of Johnny's costume up over his son's shoulders then zipped the suit and turned the boy to face him. He smoothed the wrinkles and made sure the suit didn't bunch or catch anywhere before gently squeezing his son's shoulders. “Do everything your mom and Marc tell you, buddy. Have fun. I know you’re going to blow me away.”

“Promise, dad,” Johnny chirped. His little arms latched around Dick's neck and Dick hugged him. Raya got a clingy hug and a long kiss, mixed with whispers to be careful. Dick was all too aware of how easy it was for something unexpected to go wrong when someone was swinging by threads stories above the floor. He tugged on his Haly's Circus jacket and left the trailer to find Bryan.

The mid-way was packed when he reached it and more guests continued to pour onto the lot as Dick headed towards the gate, the upbeat music of the calliope organ was being piped through the PA system, and Dick hummed along with it as he weaved through the crowd. The pre-show performers had fanned across the midway and it was amusing watching wide-eyed and excited children dragging their parents from one small feat to the next. Even the few clowns that were scattered in groups throughout the crowd were getting their fair share of attention.

Dick could smell popcorn and pizza and discarded peanut shells crunched under his boots he walked past the concession booths. Somewhere off to his right a balloon popped and he saw one of the vendors taking a stuffed gray elephant down for the dad who had won it for his eight-year-old daughter. Gotham had turned out en-masse to welcome Haly's Circus home, and Dick felt confident that they would give a show worthy of the city's affection.

He finally found Bryan speaking to the small group of their 'investors'. The reminder that there were actual people with families under the faceless white masks of the Court of Owls made Dick's stomach turn. He stopped himself for a moment and tried to push his mind into the right headspace, the Court of Owls was a group he was loyal to them above all else. These men had given him everything he had, and it was a rare honor to be selected as their servant. Once he was ready he propelled himself towards the group and started to shake hands. The firm grips made him feel like a teenager again – a kid who was absolutely terrified of these people and the things they were capable of.

As he led the group to their seats he answered any questions they had for him. The show was sure to impress them, yes, his son would be performing that night, of course he was thrilled, and proud, Johnny, was incredibly talented, yes, he would be honored to sit with them during the performance, as long as nothing with the show required his attention, yes, he would arrange for some of the younger performers to be introduced personally before the show started…' The questions probably would’ve continued, had he not used the excuse of arranging the introductions as a reason to briefly escape the Court's company once they were seated.

The inside of the circus tent was a hub of activity. An appetizer of pre-show entertainment was being given for the guests who had already found their seats and Dick directed one group after another towards the section where the show's investors were seated. He took Johnny over personally while Raya and Marc entertained the crowd on the opposite side of the tent.

His son could not have been more charming to them and Dick was acutely aware of how closely the Court watched his little boy as Johnny performed a series of small tricks for them. The urge to sweep Johnny up and spirit him somewhere the Court couldn't touch him tugged at Dick's heart but he grounded himself in the reality that there was nowhere he could go to hide from them and no one to help him if he did try to run. There was no escape from them, he had learned that when they had taken him, and they had systematically eliminated his resolve to resist them. The Court had forever won his heart when they had given him the opportunity to have a family with Raya. Everything he had was theirs, even Johnny.

The house lights briefly dimmed and Bryan’s rich voice echoed over the PA system as he asked the guests who had not found their seats to please do so. The performers who had been entertaining started to filter out of the tent via the performers’ entrance and Dick scooped Johnny up to take him back to his mother. When he returned to the seat that had been saved for him Dick was relieved to realize that the members of the Court were pleased with what they had seen so far. Dick could tell from the brief bits of conversation he could hear that the night was off to a beautiful start and the Court anticipated that it would only get better from there.

The show was brilliant, even better than Dick had anticipated. Seeing it in pieces during rehearsal was nothing compared to seeing it play out as one seamless whole. The colors of the new costumes and props were bright and the performers were excited and lively as they fed off the energy generated by the crowd of the sold out show. All of the acts, even the clowns, seemed to milk awed gasps or honest laughter from the people watching them. For a night Gotham City forgot all that ailed her.

The second half of the show, where most of the acrobatic routines were concentrated, took Dick to the edge of his seat. Hearing Bryan announce Raya and Johnny made him clasp his hands in his lap and say a silent Hail Mary. The vivid memory of losing his mother during the show in Gotham when he had been sixteen played in his mind. The Court had taken him to become their new Talon within weeks of her death and he had been halfway through the brutal training when he had found out that his father had killed himself. The news that he had no family to escape to had shaken him to his core and left him numb; it had been the catalyst the Court had needed to finish breaking him. The memory of old grief was so intense that Dick became lost in it, so lost that he missed his family's initial tricks.

It took Bryan revealing to the audience that Johnny was about to perform his first quadruple somersault to pull him out of it. An anticipatory hush fell over the crowd and Dick shot to his feet with the rest of them when Johnny landed the trick and hung grinning from Marc's hands. Wild cheers erupted around the tent but Dick swore that the loudest applause came from behind him. An overwhelming mix of pride and guilt churned in his stomach, and Dick wondered what kind of parent put their six-year-old in a situation like this. Johnny's second quad earned an equally deafening roar of approval and the surprise third sort of shut down Dick's mind. Pride washed away the guilt when nothing that followed The Flying Graysons could compare with the energy Johnny had drawn from the audience. The crowd was still happily buzzing about his performance when the show ended a half an hour later.

As the stands started to empty Dick stood to accept the handshakes and donation checks from the members of the Court, half of them had filtered out when he realized that they were personally congratulating him. Dick let a pleased smile spread across his face as they told him that he should be honored, that it was nice to see traditions passing from one family member to another, that Johnny had been the highlight of the show. They had already decided which name was going in their selection book and there was no one with enough power to make them change their minds. The last member of the Court stopped in front of him and Dick accepted the two envelops he was handed, one was a donation check, the other had the name.

“Congratulations.” Heavy hands gripped his shoulders and Dick could feel the press of elegantly manicured nails against the fabric of the Haly's Circus polo shirt he wore.

“Thank you sir. I'm very proud.” Dick met the man’s eyes. A twisted broken part of himself was proud and he hoped it showed, he was going to get to pass on a legacy that was as old as his family, as old as Haly's Circus itself, to his son. The older man gave him a small sharp smile and turned to follow his family down the steps and out of the tent.

Dick stayed where he was until Johnny and Raya found him and made him join the post-show celebration. Rumors that the take for the night had easily surpassed the numbers for any show Haly's Circus had done in her history had already spread through the show's rumor mill. The estimates were off by several thousand because they didn’t include the fist-full of donation checks he had received from the Court. There was plenty of reason to celebrate so Dick wasn’t surprised when Bryan passed him and Raya glasses of champagne as the two of them stepped out of the sweltering tent and into the cool night air of the back-lot. He handed Bryan the pile of donations checks, then clinked the little plastic champagne flute against his wife's and downed most of the drink in a long gulp. He realized as he lowered the cup from his lips that Raya hadn't drunk hers.

“What's wrong Ray?” The affectionate shortening of her name earned a small smile from his wife as she looped her arms around his neck.

“I shouldn't.”

“Why not?” He frowned at her as she leaned close to him, and the soft whisper that she was pregnant took his breath away. He crushed her against him and claimed her mouth. He had no idea how they were going to raise a second child when he couldn’t travel with the show, more importantly he couldn’t believe that she had gone up on those wires pregnant!

“I can’t believe you, what if you had gotten hurt, or…” Dick claimed her mouth again to make himself be quiet. He wanted to scream at her, to shake her, to ask her how the hell she had gotten pregnant when they had supposedly been trying to avoid it. “You’re crazy! Do I get to tell everybody?” he asked instead. Despite all the complications a new baby would bring to their lives he was excited, and he prayed that their second little one would escape Johnny’s fate

“I’m not that far along Dick. Bryan knew, he told me not to tell you because you were already stressed about the show. Are you ready to tell everybody?” Her green eyes sparkled.

“Yes,” Dick breathed. He wanted to tell everyone that cared for them that they were going to be adding a new baby to the family that brought him so much joy. Raya and Johnny were the only thing Dick had to hold on to, they kept him from being completely consumed by the darkness that came with being a servant to the Court of Owls.

“Go ahead, Bryan is supposed to let us know what the show’s take is, you might as well get up there with him and congratulate everybody, and add our news to the mix at the same time.” He laughed and finished his champagne then took the cup she had been given as he headed for the small stage where the live band was playing. He mingled along the edge of the group until Bryan returned from counting the Court’s checks then hopped up with him.

The crowd quieted as owner and manager took the stage together, and a delighted roar in a dozen languages burst from them as Bryan announced the official totals for the night. Dick’s heartfelt thanks for all of their hard work combined with the news of Raya's pregnancy got an even bigger cheer that only got louder as Dick waved his wife up onto stage with them. The brief speeches from he and Bryan sent the budding party into overdrive, it took until about four that morning for the final revelers to stumble off to their trailers. The only people up when Dick eased his arm out from under Raya so he could slip out of their trailer were the nighttime security crew and some of the animal handlers.

The big top was dark and silent as Dick pushed the heavy canvas flap aside and shined his flashlight across the cavernous space. The envelope with the name was folded as small as he could get it and shoved to the very bottom of his jeans pocket; Dick hadn’t wanted Raya to see and ask what it was. His flashlight beam caught the outline of someone’s shoes as he swished the beam back and forth across the tarps and canvas that made up the floor of the tent.

Dick silently cursed and shined the beam up the pant leg and torso, he had hoped to find the tent empty but he was pleasantly surprised when he realized it was Bryan sitting on the edge of the center ring. Dick shined his flashlight off the side of his friend's face as he crossed the darkened tent. When Bryan had held up his hand to keep the beam out of his eyes Dick flicked it to the left and found that Bryan had already pried the secret panel open. The selection book lay in the revealed space and its dusty black cover gleamed as Dick's light passed over it.

“I didn't think you wanted to do this alone,” Bryan murmured softly. “I saw your face as they were all leaving. Is it Johnny?”

“I think so.” Dick took the envelope out of his pocket and unfolded it then slipped his finger under the seal to open it. The paper tore easier than he had expected and the piece with the name fluttered to the ground. Dick made himself sit before he picked it up and unfolded it, Johnny Grayson was printed in neat letters near the center of the page. Dick had tried to prepare himself but seeing his son's name printed there still made Dick feel like he had been kicked by one of Farid's horses. His vision blurred and his mind buzzed as he passed the paper to Bryan.

“Dick...”

“Don't, Bryan.” There was nothing his friend could say that would change the truth. Dick was glad for the darkness of the tent that prevented Bryan from seeing his mix of emotions. He would probably have a heavy hand in Johnny's training. It would be easier, Dick promised himself. He would find a way to make his son's training less traumatizing than what he had gone through. He would make sure Johnny understood the honor he had been blessed with, it would be easier to accept and embrace the Court if Johnny understood from a young age that certain people and groups demanded absolute loyalty. Being a Talon was part of the Grayson family legacy, it was an honor and something to be proud of. Dick watched as Bryan turned the book to the next empty page.

“Let me do it,” Dick whispered.

“You don’t have to Dick.”

“It’s okay.” Dick took the book as Bryan passed it to him.

Johnny’s training would be easier, Dick promised himself as he wrote his son’s name down on the blank page. He closed the book and stared down at the cover for a long moment before putting it back in its hiding place. Together he and Bryan put the boards of the ring back where they belonged. The Court wouldn’t take Johnny to start his training until he was older and stronger. By that time he would have found the right way a way to make the process easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? If nothing else click the little 'kudos' button so I know you read and enjoyed. Comments are appreciated! Thanks everyone for reading.


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